[April 18, 2023] Mostly through opportunities, the U.S. Army taught me about listening closely to what my Soldiers had to say. And, fair enough, that is important advice. But one thing they did not teach is the point I will make today.
When you listen to someone, do not assume you know what they are talking about. Ask questions. Stay focused on them, not just their words but their body language, as well. And listen to their team members and what they say too. Ask good questions. That is not the only part of the solution to understanding.
What also is important, and what the military did not teach, is you should not assume even they know what they are talking about. People think by talking, so you have to give them a chance to get it all out before you jump on it. That person you are listening to might change their mind in midstream. That is crucial. Let them formulate the issue before you become part of the conversation. Just let them talk it out.
Once you are satisfied that person has had their say, summarize it for them and ask if they agree with your formulation of their issue. This shows that you are a true leader that did listen. If there is an error in your summary, that person can say so, and there can be some clarification. Thus, you have not just to summarize what is said but summarize in a way that the person agrees with you.
This is not what the military taught, but they allowed me to learn; for that, I was a better leader.
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Now this makes a lot of good sense. Well written, Gen. Satterfield.
When entering a conversation, consider what the goals of the conversation are and how best you can listen to achieve those goals.
Good to see you back in the leadership forums, Wild Bill. It has been a while. We are making some great strides here and learning a heck of a lot from Gen. Satterfield, of course. We are also being asked to provided suggestions on future article here at https://www.theleadermaker.com. If you have any recommendations, please let us know!
Gen. Satterfield, you da man! Joking aside, great article.
Another great piece for professional development.
It’s never been more important — or more difficult — for leaders to be good listeners. Job switching is rampant, and remote work means we don’t get the nonverbal cues we’d pick up from an in-person conversation. Employers who fail to listen and thoughtfully respond to their people’s concerns will see greater turnover. And given that the highest rates of turnover are among top performers who can take clients and projects with them, and the frontline employees responsible for the customer experience, the risk is clear. – Harvard Business Review
https://hbr.org/2021/12/how-to-become-a-better-listener
While listening is a skill universally lauded, it’s rarely, if ever, explicitly taught as a crucial leadership skill.
.. and that is a big big problem. As a HS teacher, I had to learn it slowly over the years. It was rarely taught but, like Gen. Satterfield, I was given the opportunities to learn it on my own and thru fabulous mentors that assisted my development.
Thanks Bernie! Here’s another good source: 6 Ways to Improve Your Listening Skills
https://www.hbsp.harvard.edu/inspiring-minds/6-ways-to-improve-your-listening-skills-and-better-engage-your-students
“People think by talking, so you have to give them a chance to get it all out before you jump on it. ” – Gen. Satterfield. He has it right.
This ability to allow the other person to “talk it out” is a skill we should all pay closer attention to.
Men don’t often have the patience for women who need to verbalize and explain and create their own ideas just by talking. Men! Be patient, the woman is sometimes trying to figure out what she really wants.
Exactly!
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Women are verbally focused. Men are visually focused. I think that is why, for men anyway, they have a harder time using words to explain things and giving others the time to talk it thru. Women and men are different (go figure) and thus don’t always jive up. Men in the military also need to know that other men have a hard time thinking things thru and also need time to verbalize their thoughts.
Well said, Lynn.