Stay in Your Lane

[July 23, 2025]  It was probably some Army sergeant from long ago who made up the expression, ‘Stay in your lane.’  It has to be one of the most debilitating and offensive comments.  Certainly, saying it has caused many soldiers to fail at their job, which would be to close with and destroy the enemy.

I found it most revealing that some of our senior leaders still say, “Stay in your lane,” often out of fear that some soldier might have a good idea they don’t like. The thinking that soldiers must march along a well-worn path without veering off to the left or right and without changing jobs, interests or opinions in their career is insanity on stilts.

The idea that we must plod along on one path so that we must not exercise our right of free speech that doesn’t align with our biological sex, race, religion, etc., is a terrible idea.  The notion that only “experts” get to make comments on anything, “outside our lane,” is preposterous.  Furthermore, when those deciding which path we should follow are also the same ones who get to determine who are the “experts.”

There is no reason for me to be a Navy sailor to discuss naval operations intelligently.  Or for me to be a priest/clergyman to say what I believe regarding the Bible.  Or to have lived in the 1300s to appreciate Dante Alighieri’s “The Divine Comedy.”  Nor do I need to be a woman to have a legitimate discussion about the moral implications of abortion.

In my humble life, I’ve been through enough lanes to resemble the I-45 highway north of Houston, Texas.  I lived in a small town with one stop sign, in a house with 900 SF, and a leaky roof.  I also lived in New York City in a multistory home on one of the ‘better’ neighborhoods.  And, I lived in over 20 foreign nations in various levels of accommodation, including in a slit-trench to protect me from shell fragments.

I worked on the Missouri-Illinois Railroad, raked leaves and mowed lawns, scraped through junk yards for resalable items, milked cows and cared for them, sold dangerous fireworks outside of town (to avoid the police), raced motorcycles, cleaned bathrooms, and had my own newspaper distribution delivery business.

Fortune shined on me when I randomly walked into a U.S. Army recruiters’ office in Lubbock, Texas, to join up on a whim. Forty years later, I would retire (starting as a Private and ending as a General) from there and become a “consultant,” getting well paid for what I know and who I know.  If I lived in India, where a caste system determines what you do in your life, this would not have been possible.  I didn’t stay in my lane.

I began my life with little formal education and disliked all classroom instruction from day one in the First Grade.  Barely graduating from High School (only at my mother’s insistence), I went right to work at various jobs.  After spending several years enlisted in the Army, I decided I wanted to be an officer, and that required a college degree.  Back to the university and graduating allowed me to meet the minimum to be an officer in the Army.

All that lane-changing is the result of decades of experience where I learned the lessons needed to live well.  Course corrections were made voluntarily and not randomly.  Sometimes I found obstacles in my path, and instead of ending my journey abruptly, I switched lanes and kept on going.  If I hadn’t learned from experience, then what’s the point?

The lesson here is to travel the lane that you accept with your eyes open and where you can adopt the most significant responsibilities so that at the end of the day, you are satisfied with yourself.  For those that wanted me to stay in my lane, tough bumpkins.  I’ll continue to move outside my lane.

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Please read my books:

1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).