Advice for Newlyweds

By | December 20, 2023

[December 20, 2023]  There are probably more books written on advice for newlyweds than anything else, except for romance novels.  Dr. Jordan Peterson was asked what advice he had for newlyweds, and his answer was classic Peterson.  But he gives a few hints that I found striking.

He begins by advising newlyweds never to stop dating (themselves, of course, not others).  He is saying that when you are courting someone, you are on your best behavior, as best you can.  The assumption is that there is something about you that is valuable and others can see.

“Insofar as you’re capable of manifesting your best behavior and hopefully there’s something shiny and attractive enough about you so that when you are in your best behavior, you’re tolerable enough so someone just as desperate as you might dare to fall in love with you.”

It’s easy after marriage to believe you did all the hard work to ‘get’ your partner, and maybe now is the time to relax and settle down a bit.  Peterson believes this is a dismal view of marriage.  He recommends that couples “strive up,” a much better option.

“The closest people get to beauty and romance in their life, likely is when they’re dating.  That’s why romance movies are so attractive because they show people at their best trying to attract each other, and there’s something very attractive about that, and something romantic about that.”

Peterson is saying that it is easy to believe that once you’ve ‘hooked or snared’ someone, like a fish, you can sit on them, and they’re trapped; they’re yours.  Do not fall for that way of thinking.  You want to maintain that commitment to ‘beauty and romance’ and become an expert at it.

“If you pay attention to romance, then you remember who you married, that person you fell in love with.  You remember their hidden best.”

It is easy in a marriage to become bored and cynical, making each of you less than you could be.  Once married, you both have jobs, kids, and a stack of responsibilities, and it is difficult to prioritize romance under those conditions because you’re working and tired.  That is wrong.

“Get your act together and get at it.”

Beauty and romance are revitalizing.  Peterson’s advice is not something to ignore.

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Please read my books:

  1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
  2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).
Author: Douglas R. Satterfield

Hello. I provide one article every day. My writings are influenced by great thinkers such as Friedrich Nietzsche, Karl Jung, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Jean Piaget, Erich Neumann, and Jordan Peterson, whose insight and brilliance have gotten millions worldwide to think about improving ourselves. Thank you for reading my blog.

19 thoughts on “Advice for Newlyweds

  1. Eddie Gilliam

    Marries is a lifetime commitment. It should be taken for granted by couples. Don’t let the kids;friends; family;job stop you from being committed to each other. Love is an action word.. It like a river running waters. It’s keep moving. Keep the honeymoon going each day. Telling each other how you feel about them. You can’t live without them. Marries is work. Why. You have to invest in it. What you put in, you get out. Man treat her as your queen. Women treat him as your King. KIng and queen conquered new territory each day ♥️ ❤️ 💖. Scheduled date night weekly. Women we men love you smell good and looking good. Men they love the same thing. I strongly urge all Married couples who are having issues with how to keep the fire 🔥 hot. Read a book in the Bible Songs of Solomon. He had 100 wives and 1000 girls. They all were very happy with him. He teaches us how to say romantic things to her. Solomon was the wisest man in the Bible. Why because when asked by God what do he want to be a successful man. He asked for wisdom. Thus he not received wisdom but because one of the riches man in the Bible. I challenged you to do it. Let me know how it goes

    Reply
    1. DaveV

      Dr. Jordan Peterson is known for giving the best of advice but he goes one step further and enlightens us, as well, on WHY we should follow that advice. You will find his advice is not necessarily new but he bases his ideas on what works and that is, of course, important. That way, the advice he gives has already been proven effective.

      Reply
    1. American Girl

      “There are probably more books written on advice for newlyweds than anything else, except for romance novels. Dr. Jordan Peterson was asked what advice he had for newlyweds, and his answer was classic Peterson. But he gives a few hints that I found striking. He begins by advising newlyweds never to stop dating (themselves, of course, not others). He is saying that when you are courting someone, you are on your best behavior, as best you can. The assumption is that there is something about you that is valuable and others can see.” … Gen. Doug Satterfield. This is important, pay attention to it.

      Reply
  2. Willie Strumburger

    This advice from Jordan Peterson, as brought to us by Gen. Satterfield (thanks to you both) is not just for newlyweds but for all married folks. Often, we hear about the advice to date your spouse at least monthly, take out your spouse and have a good time. This is what Dr. Peterson is saying but I believe he is saying more often than montly; maybe weekly at least. Prioritize your relationship with your spouse. Be proud to show your spouse around to strangers and treat her well. That is how to keep your marriage alive.

    Reply
  3. Tomas Clooney

    Yes, thanks to all my penpal friends here in Gen. Satterfield’s leadership forum. Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned a great deal and all of you I can thank for it. Merry Christmas. 🎅

    Reply
  4. Yusaf from Texas

    “The closest people get to beauty and romance in their life, likely is when they’re dating. That’s why romance movies are so attractive because they show people at their best trying to attract each other, and there’s something very attractive about that, and something romantic about that.” — Dr. Jordan Peterson as quoted by Gen. Satterfield. I recommend watching Dr. P’s lectures on youtube. These videos tell a consistent and positive story.

    Reply
  5. Frank Graham

    Early Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
    2️⃣5️⃣👼🎄🌟

    Reply
  6. Peigin

    Classic Dr. Peterson, yep!
    Always on target, yep!
    A big fan of Dr. Peterson, yep!

    Reply
    1. Valkerie

      Funny how that works out, Peigin. This is why I come to this website by Gen. Doug Satterfield. If you read it closely, and over time, you will find that Gen. Satterfield often turns his articles into books. So, I highly recommend his books:
      “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon
      “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon

      Reply
      1. Dern McCabe

        Valkerie, thanks. My personal favorite is “55 rules for a good life.” Read it and learn. Best short book on life ever written. Takes lessons from Gen. Satterfield’s life and army career. Pay attention. You will appreciate the book everyday. Read it and be the best you can be.

        Reply

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