[July 27, 2018] It has been a long-running theme here on my leadership blog that a leader’s character can only be developed through hard times. But I’m going out on a limb today and now arguing that good character can only be developed through suffering. That’s right, only by suffering can the best in us truly come out.
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved.” – Helen Keller, born blind and deaf, became an author, political activist, and lecturer
First, allow me to explain what I mean by “suffering;” a term that has been misused and abused so much that its meaning is confused. For simplicity sake, suffering to me is anything, either physical or mental, that creates a significant unpleasant feeling, emotion, or sensation. Philosophers have attempted – at great lengths – to explain it to us but here we treat it as something that evokes great stress in a person.
The idea that suffering affects us in different ways has long been recognized, long before the written word. In some of the earliest writings of the Bible, we see in Matthew 13 the parable of the sower. Two of the three soils that failed to produce a crop represent people who did not know how to handle suffering. The lesson? Suffering will make you grow bitter or better, depending upon how you handle it.
Early in the Iraq War, I was one of the first to point out to the media that combat did not only have negative effects upon those who fought. Combat made most of us better people, more resilient, better at prioritizing the important things in life, and stronger mentally. True, some soldiers were hit hard and never recovered but overall the impact was more positive than negative. For the vast majority, suffering made us better people.
Yet when we try to protect people from suffering the effort can backfire. When we protect others from the trauma of life, we also prevent them from strengthening their emotions and place them on a path that leads to great disappointment, frustration, and emotional weakness. Better to let others experience the pain of tragedy than to stop them from experiencing life.
Good leaders will always protect those they can from unreasonable suffering. But great leaders recognize the value even in suffering; for it strengthens the soul, the mind, and the body. Only through it can we be a better person.
There is also a lot of talk about “building character.” Of course, as most would expect, there is a lot of controversy about it. For example, how do you give a person hardship or suffering to make them a better person? Anyway, here is a good sermon that lays out a good argument on how to do it.
http://bonairpc.org/Sermons/Sermons%200001/PDF/Building%20Character.PDF
Good one, thanks Bill for this sermon. I read it and liked it.
I agree., good point.
Some really good comments today on Gen. Satterfield’s leadership blog. I would like to add that my life has been full of tragedies and hardships of all kinds. I like to think they made me a better person. By “better” I mean that I’m good to people, polite, helpful, and kind. Not many folks are this way.
This is a subject that, when I was a young leader on the High School football team, I’d been curious about. The Vietnam veterans used to talk about how “things that don’t kill us, makes us stronger.” I never understood until later in life I started having hard times myself.
Good comment Army Captain. Yes, i saw the same thing in the USMC and expect that others will also see it. One of the key things we learn in the military services is that you only become strong through hard work. That also means hard times, embarrassment, and making lots of mistakes.
Thanks Lynn. Good comment. 😉
In the US Army, we never put it this way but we are very specific that you become stronger only through relevant experiences. Therefore, it goes hardly without saying, that we do what we can to ensure our best leaders are set for the right experiences that provide them with the character – some say the strength of character – to be the right person for a more senior leadership job.
Here is another good article that reinforces the point.
3 Ways Suffering Produces Sanctification.
https://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2016/june/3-ways-suffering-produces-sanctification.html
Right. Many say that suffering unleashes hope, character, and endurance. Hope and endurance, in my humble opinion, are part of character. So, this fully supports what we are all saying here.
Spot on comment. Thank you Dale for giving us a great link.
Like Gen. Satterfield has noted, historians have written that suffering makes us better people and they give us plenty of examples.
I agree Danny and here is a link: http://joanneellison.com/developing-character-through-suffering/
Here’s a Christian view on this very subject. Suffering and its effect upon people is discussed in the Bible several times. It is also a long-running theme of Christianity that suffering can be good for us.
Nicely put together. Thanks Gen. Satterfield. Have a great weekend.
Those people who are among the best folks I personally know, who have the most trustworthy of character, are those who have gone through the most difficult of times in their personal lives.
Same here with me, Max. Thanks for the note confirming what most of us intrinsically know; you can only have great character through great hardship.
Thanks, Shawn!
Thank you for a good blog post today on an often ignored subject.
An interesting article that made me think this morning about how my character was developed, especially in relation to others in my family. Great job here Gen. Satterfield.
Interesting take on how character is developed.