Find Your Compass in Life

[December 10, 2025]  I often heard from young people wishing to join the Army that they had no direction in their lives.  What I found hard to understand was that they actually had a possible solution to their loss of direction in life (by joining the Armed Forces) but somehow had delayed or rejected that decision. The true solution was to find your compass in life.

There is a line in the Bible’s New Testament that may apply, and it’s a bit of a mysterious statement that I think addresses the issue head on.  And it is one of the most well-known verses, yet few understand it.  The brilliance of the Bible once again shows us the way forward.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Matthew 7:7-8

It’s like, for these directionless young folks, that the verse is not true.  It is true, if all of that is taken seriously.  I often tell them the story of when I was just first married and I was driving us to see my wife’s parents in upstate New York.  Unknown to me at some point, I had made the wrong turn on a road.  And, I believe like all men, I knew I was lost but I refused to pull over and ask for directions.  This was before GPS.  We used printed, folded maps to get from one point to another.

If I had pulled over, there is no guarantee that the person I asked for directions would give me the right directions.  But that is the faith we must have in others.  Of course, I would have to admit to that person that I was lost, as difficult as that would be for me, and then they just might direct me back to the highway.  It was so annoying for me to break down as ask them.  My new wife encouraged me to pull over.  Fortunately I did as she asked.’

Our lives are not easy.  And all our lives are full of malevolence and suffering.  That’s a heavy burden to bear.  But if we watch our lives, we will find those things that we like, that justify the weight that we must carry.  That requires actually thinking about what we want in our lives.

What do we want?  What is it we need?  What does that look like?

And, here we are.  We ask these questions of ourselves.  By asking the questions, we are opening ourselves to the revelation of the real world.  By asking, we can get a vision of what the right direction is for us.  But also by asking, we simultaneously create the conditions for failure, and do so clearly.  Directions should not be foggy and vague because that does not work.  These questions must be precise.

Sharpen your aim.  Specify your goals.  The price in your life for not asking the question (directions) or not accepting the directions being given to you, is failure.

Those young people ask for directions in their lives.  Now, that’s a vague problem.  Any answer to that is much more complex than getting directions when lost going to my in-laws’ home.  There is no one-sentence answer to that question.  But it is derived from the sense of meaning they have and that’s not that complicated to figure out.

There are several rather steady things people want to make themselves a better person: family (with an intimate partner), friends, job or career, something creative, keeping in good mental and physical shape, and adopting some civic responsibility.  And we should avoid hedonistic, narcissistic pursuits.  That’s a good place to start.

If we are to live a good life, it is best to walk through some thinking of these things listed here.  And, if we are unable to have responsibility in many of these, then we are certainly lost.  This is what the Bible means when it tells us to stay on the righteous path.

We can always begin working on these areas, one small step at a time.  In that way, over time, even incrementally, we will make meaningful gains.  Those gains will not be linear but will compound over time.  In a couple of years, you will be so far ahead of where you are here now, that it will be shocking.

The default position in life is misery.  We all need productive and reciprocal engagement with others in order to provide you with genuine meaning that sustains us.

This is a practical pathway to improvement.  And, if you really want to get a more detailed list, then read my book “55 Rules for a Good Life.”  Now that is where I lay out how to find your compass in life.

NOTE: Much of this was influenced by a talk in front of an audience by Dr. Jordan Peterson and the link to view this can be found here: https://youtu.be/QuqiSL3nDNg?si=Ot3MguLmH9toHtAl

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Please read my books:

1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).