Get Married: it’s the Human Way

By | July 21, 2022

[July 20, 2022]  Why is marriage important for you?  There is no other place in your life where you can be totally honest and where your negotiation skills will be tested to the limits.  If you can be honest, truthful, and are willing to work hard on your personal skills, then get married.

Marriage is the highest form of humanity – responsibility, honor, loyalty, selflessness, respect, and courage.  There is no institution, group, career, friendship, or live-in relationship that demands the level of commitment and effort that marriage requires.  If you are interested in being all you can be, to maximize your potential, then (if you are fortunate) you will find a mate you can love and respect and then marry that person.  And despite those flaws you both bring to the table, you are on the only path to a good life.

If fortune shines upon you, you will also have children and raise them together.  There is nothing more rewarding and fulfilling than marriage with children.

A marriage is a vow, a voluntary commitment to stay together and support your partner no matter what the world brings your way.  “From this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…”  the marriage vow is a sacred promise – a practical and moral promise – that is said with family and friends present and in the presence of God, and is not meant to be broken.

The vow is not a conditional declaration; it is forever, “till death do us part,” a literal and symbolic joining of two people.  If you follow this path, you will be fulfilled.  Don’t let others talk you into thinking the words are meaningless or provisional.  If you are not deadly serious or have the guts to do what it takes to hold the marriage together, then marriage is not for you.

“I’m not leaving you, ever, no matter what.”    My wife’s idea of marriage is straightforward; you’re in it for the long haul.  We are all full of liabilities and weaknesses, and only through marriage can we bond together so tightly that there is no “out” and that union forces us to sort out our problems.

There is no running away.  If you were able to run away, you could not tell that person the truth.  The marriage forces you to tell the truth.  And it forces you to negotiate with your spouse over every sort of thing; mundane daily chores, in-laws, joint careers, where you will live, and whether to have children (and you should have children).  Some folks need this level of seriousness to push them to sort things out.

You either force yourselves to straighten out the relationship or you will suffer for it for the rest of your life.  Without that bond, there are things you will never learn because you will avoid them.  Unless you’ve made a serious, lifetime commitment, one that you are not going to back out of, you’re not going to take the relationship with the seriousness necessary to make it of the highest quality and sustainability across your lifetime.

If you should get to know someone long enough to know that you two can tell the truth with each other, communicate, and negotiate.  If you can do that, marriage is the right place for you.

Find your mate, marry, have children, and hold your marriage together.  Marriage is not for everyone but it is the only way you can be the very best you can be.

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Please read my new book, “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).

Author: Douglas R. Satterfield

Hello. I'm Doug and I provide at least one article every day on some leadership topic. I welcome comments and also guests who would like to write an article. Thanks for reading my blog.

22 thoughts on “Get Married: it’s the Human Way

  1. American Girl

    Getting married is the way. I agree. Fail to get married, then you make the choice to stand outside civilization and you will suffer. You may deny you are suffering because of your neo-Marxist, progressive ideology, but you will suffer and never know the real joy of marriage and children. Just because marriage is hard (such it up liberals) doesn’t mean that it’s not worth it.

    Reply
      1. lydia truman

        Count me in. Marriage is much better than shacking up.

        Reply
  2. The Kid 1945

    Excellent article today, Gen. Satterfield. Any time you write, I read and think.

    Reply
    1. DocJeff

      Yes, and there are many reasons for this. Note the change in direction over the past few months.

      Reply
  3. Linux Man

    Like war (according to Gen. Satterfield), marriage can bring out the best and the worst in people. Quote from Gen. S, “There is no other place in your life where you can be totally honest and where your negotiation skills will be tested to the limits. If you can be honest, truthful, and are willing to work hard on your personal skills, then get married.” This is true. But you cannot drift thru a marriage.

    Reply
  4. Max Foster

    “A marriage is a vow, a voluntary commitment to stay together and support your partner no matter what the world brings your way.” This may be true, Gen. S. but that is not how we interpret it today. Too many young people are just too self centered. So, you comment about selfless service – the core of your idea of moral good – they rejected long ago after listening to their teachers who are more interested in “social justice” (there is no such thing BTW) than learning the rules of civic discourse and reading about the great philosophers and what they mean. Thanks again for maintaining this wonderful website.

    Reply
    1. Jerome Smith

      Good point, Max and well taken. I too believe that folks are avoiding marriage because it requires taking on responsibility and telling the truth. Society today discourages all that.

      Reply
    2. JT Patterson

      I only wish more folks thought this way. Shame that they don’t.

      Reply
  5. Yusaf from Texas

    Hey, Gen. Satterfield …. pretty good Daily Favorites today. Hugh Hewitt is a thinker and altho I’ve read him before and he tends to lean a little too far left, most of his writings are pretty good.

    Reply
  6. Joe Omerrod

    Wow, Gen. Satterfield, you are really nailing these articles. Give us some advice and just watch the crazies come out of their basement to protest you. ha ha ha ha ha…. crazies, fortunately, don’t multiply because they live in their momma’s basement.

    Reply
    1. Fred Weber

      Maybe their mommas won’t let them out this year. ✔

      Reply
      1. Tomas Clooney

        Ignore the propaganda. Ignore the millennials. Just pay attention to what you’ve seen happen successfully since the beginning of mankind. That works. The new neo-Marxism is another failure.

        Reply
        1. Army Captain

          That is the problem, our politicians are not strong enough to resist. And they are cowards.

          Reply
  7. Autistic Techie

    Gen. Satterfield is making a lot of sense, and he is making some folks mad because they believe marriage is a patriarchal, slavery institution.

    Reply
    1. Dennis Mathes

      That is exactly the problem that Gen. S. has consistently warned us about. They beleive their own propaganda.

      Reply
  8. Guns are Us

    Common sense, just too much common sense. Today’s whacko millennials will say your being sexist by giving advice to get married. Ghee, I guess a million years of doing something in all societies is really nothing since millennials know everything.

    Reply
    1. Forrest Gump

      Yeah, those 20 year olds have figured our the world. /sarc Stupid is as stupid does.

      Reply
      1. Edward G.

        While there are some folks who simply should not get married, the vast majority of people would be much better off by being married and being forced (by the social institutions) to improve themselves thru negotiation and hard work. Yep, I agree with Gen. Satterfield on this one.

        Reply
      2. Deplorable John

        — and those 20 year old folks want to force us to follow their lead. Just like lemmings off a cliff.

        Reply
        1. Harry Man

          Just ask them, they know everything and our politicains think these young people know everything. Let me see if there are any braincells out there that are working after a night of blowing weed and snorting coke. Let me check! Nope, don’t see any.

          Reply

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