[November 12, 2025] Being a leader means many things but one thing that is required for those who desire to be successful is to have a good set of social skills. It doesn’t mean that a successful leader is required to have table manners, a pretty smile, or fashionable clothes; although it certainly helps. That is why I always say that a leader needs to have an honest and full assessment of their personal strengths and weaknesses.
I had a college roommate who lacked many social skills and had what most of us would consider only the minimum commitment to learn some of the most basic ways to get along with others. He was a smart guy and later graduated with a respectable degree in electrical engineering (a difficult college major). Today, he’s married with kids and a great job but his social skills still need development. When I spoke with him last he told me that his one big regret while in college was that he didn’t learn enough about how to get along better with people.
Leaders must prove their worth every day. Good social skills are a boost to that necessity and can make the difference anytime a leader is engaged with others. I’m no social scientist but I can attest to the fact that leaders with social skills get better results, are liked better, get more cooperation, and are under less stress. Those who lack those skills don’t fare as well and work harder to achieve similar results.
And, leadership is about results. It’s one thing to talk good, to give good speeches, and to have a good command of the language but it’s something else to take action that aligns with the talk. Leaders who walk the walk, as we say in America, are those who can deliver on the mission. Too many leaders have failed, not because they weren’t smart or talented, but because they could not rally people to achieve a necessary goal and get results.
My good friend from our engineering school could have been the CEO of the engineering firm where he’s worked for over 20 years; at least according to his own assessment. He wanted to be the guy who called the shots and he thought that his creative spirit could take his company further than its current senior management. But for the lack of social skills this never occurred. One day he told to me that he had sacrificed learning social aspects in college to focus on his technical skills. Now his ability to “connect” with people is something he doesn’t have.
A few lessons for leaders are notable. First, social skills are important. Second, those skills are developed over time and should never be ignored. And third, there are many friends, colleague, and skill coaches that can be useful to help us develop them. While it may never too late to improve our skills, my good friend now has a regret that cannot be satisfied.
————
Please read my books:
… too many overlook this basic requirement for the best road to success in any field of expertise or profession.
Right, Gen. Satterfield. If one doesn’t have it, then I believe there should be an effort to identify the deficiency (and it is a deficiency) and work on making improvements. One can make changes but only if the desire to do so is there.
Exactly ✅
THis is often overlooked in the most junior, less experienced leaders, like Lieutenants in the Army. Why, I’m not so sure because having basic social skills gives a new leader a slight advantage over other new leaders. People are attracted to those with a good sense of humor, a positive outlook on life, a firm handshake, looking others in the eye and give a smile, etc. These are signs of social skills and helps lubricate relationships. It’s not fake, like many say but an important part of the human experience. There is no substitute, so those like Gen. Satterfield continue to bring it up, and rightly so.
“A few lessons for leaders are notable. First, social skills are important. Second, those skills are developed over time and should never be ignored. And third, there are many friends, colleague, and skill coaches that can be useful to help us develop them. ” – Gen. Doug Satterfield lays out the basics here. Learn social skills, as they will help you develop better leadership skills as you gain experience. These are the key factors senior company executives look for in an up-and-coming future senior leader.
Pink CLoud, very true and I sure hope folks are paying attention to this advice from Gen. Satterfield. He knows what he is doing because he has been there and done that (LOL). Sir, keep your assessments coming and thanks. Late Happy Veterans Day.
Sir, thank you for this article and, yes, leaders must — at a minimum — have good social skills. Best if they have great social skills.
Good Habits #16: Walk the Walk
https://www.theleadermaker.com/good-habits-16-walk-the-walk/
A good read that talks about the best habits to develop as a real leader.
An oldie but goodie from Gen. Satterfield. He sure knows how to get back to the basics. And, never ever forget the basics.
Good article. I believe too many young people today, as opposed to previous generations, lack some basic social skills. Mostly, I believe, because they spend too much time on social media. And, they are addicted to their smart phones (which make them dumber). They also can’t read very well. And reading, plus social skills are necessary to have a smooth workplace and home life. Yet, the social media and socialist ideology takes precedence in our public schools. We need to revamp how we raise ethically and educationally our kids in America. We pander too much to the dumb kids from various ethnic groups and don’t push the smarter ones to greater heights. Wrong mindset needs changing.
Unwoke Dude, you are correct about our public schools system being too much into propagandizing our kids and not enough time on teaching them how to get along with others, help others, and encourage them too. That is part of the reason kids are turning out to be so dumb and then they go to college for more of the same. We are producing robots and that is not good.
I’m not so sure our political class -= yep, that’s what I call them – are good with social skills but terrible with good analytical and decision-making skills. It is necessary to have good rounded skills of all kinds.