[January 24, 2023] Life is difficult, but you can always do something to make it even worse. And it would help if you had a solution, otherwise it can embitter you. “Lessons for Men” is a new mini-series in my daily blog. Today, the first lesson for men is being too nice makes you weak.
If you ask a disagreeable man what they want, they will tell you right away what they want and how they will get it. If you ask an agreeable man what they want, they often don’t know because they are accustomed to living for other people, finding out what other people want, and trying to make them comfortable. It is harder for agreeable people to find a sense of their own desires.
If you are going to try to forge a career, being agreeable does not work at all. One of the things you have to be careful about if you’re an agreeable man is not to be exploited because you will unknowingly set yourself up to be exploited. Being naïve is not good at all. You will suffer unnecessarily.
Here’s some good advice for agreeable men. “Say what you think.” “Tell the truth about what you think, even if that message is difficult and harsh.” Do this every day. There are things you have to discuss, and some issues are not going away. And this is difficult since doing so will generate conflict, and agreeable people do not like conflict.
Agreeable men are too nice, and this is not a good medium to long-term strategy. It’s not good because these men often fail to resolve the more numerous smaller problems before becoming something big and unmanageable.
It is better to be a disagreeable man. The advantage of disagreeable men is that they don’t let much get in their way. These men are very forward-moving and very difficult to stop.
Yet, it is necessary to get these disagreeable men correctly socialized at a young age, or their peers will reject them. And that is a problem. Being rejected by others, especially by women, pushes those less-socialized disagreeable men into unacceptable behavior, violence, risky and anti-social behavior, and into a lonely existence.
Better to be a socialized, disagreeable man than being too nice of an agreeable man. Being too nice makes you weak.
Note: The thumbnail for this series on lessons for men comes from a painting by Victor Bauer. I like his work, which is found on his website for purchase. He works mainly in oil. Go there and purchase one of his works at this link (click here).
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