[July 29, 2023] My first fistfight, the first of many, began with my best friend. He lived next door, was my age and in the same grade, looked a lot like me, yet we were always at odds, often angry at each other. Yet, looking back, I cannot recall a single reason for being angry or any reason for any of our fights. And, these fights were not simple or quick, but scrappy, full-blown knockdown drag out, rolling in the grass and dirt, with bloody lips, bruised faces and shins, and snot flowing freely as our tempers flared into overdrive.
I want to make very clear about how these fights developed. We would disagree on something, often unimportant, and be really mad. Fighting it out with each other was the right thing. At its conclusion, we both felt good (and physically spent), and every fight ended with a handshake and a hug. We were buddies. A disagreement would not permanently come between us, despite the physical damage we did to each other. Nor did we ever cuss or use the Lord’s name in vain. And it was common that at the end of each fight, we could not remember why the fight started.
Nothing stood in the way of our friendship. Nothing at all. We were inseparable with the same likes (baseball, yo-yos, slingshots, hunting birds, running free, ice cream) and dislikes (school, homework, stinging bugs, snakes, reading, arithmetic). If there was a baseball game in town, we were there to cheer on the hometown and our team. We even braved the taboo against talking to older baseball players while the game was ongoing and asking them about the best way to hit a knuckleball. “Get lost,” was the usual reply. We didn’t care.
Our first fight began over something so innocuous that the reason didn’t matter. We were mad, and the hitting began. There are rules to boys fighting, and we had a strong incentive to abide by them. No poking the eyes, spitting, throwing dirt in the face, kicking the nards, or use of weapons of any kind. We all owned knives and guns, lots of them, but we would never ever consider using them on a friend. Typically, shortly after an argument began, we would be rolling on the ground, trying to figure out how to get in the next punch to the gut. Our moms cleaned us up afterward and always asked, “Now, what are you boys fighting about this time?” “Mama,” I would say, “I don’t know why we were fighting. We’re friends.”
Fighting was a way of life, except when the High School boys were out to beat the crap out of us. Not that we didn’t deserve an ass wuppin’ on occasion after scaring the older girls with frog guts or dead snakes. Sometimes we’d gross out the girls with live lizards hanging from our ear lobes. That lizard earrings tactic always got a hilarious reaction, even from our moms. “Douglas, get your butt in this house right now! And dammit, leave those lizards outside.”
With boys, the rules of a good fight exist, so their problem with each other does not linger. The fight was over. The fight was an end to the problem. We were no longer mad. And that’s it. No lasting grudge or nasty attitude. That’s how we remained friends forever.
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NOTE: For all Letters to My Granddaughter, go to this link here.
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Please read my books:
Gen. Satterfield, it’s been a few weeks since I was on your website, computer crash and no hurry to fix it, and have come back to see this mini series of letters to your granddaughter. Wonderful, is what I have to say. You’ve given me some ideas on what I should do and I will be writing letters to my grandkids as well and I think I’ll store them in a box for them to find once I pass away. Maybe they will appreciate those letters at that time and not consider them just old-fashioned and throw them away like trash.
One this that can be said of this series is that there are many hidden lessons that are the take aways for those of us willing to dig into them. Gen. Satterfield is telling us stories that don’t just give him (and us) a learning experience but a life lesson on how to be a better person and better leader. If you want to really get a concentration of those “rules” then read his latest book, “55 Rules for a Good Life.”
Very best book of the year. Got my copy and am now reading it for the third time. Each read, I find more lessons.
I agree, best book around.
https://www.amazon.com/55-Rules-Good-Life-Responsibility/dp/1737915529/
Great job my friend. Friend will last after the fights. Conflicts over difficult of opinions lead to fighting if not resolved quickly.
There are rules to boys fighting, and we had a strong incentive to abide by them. No poking the eyes, spitting, throwing dirt in the face, kicking the nards, or use of weapons of any kind. – Gen. Satterfield
This is what real fighting is about that means you can come out of it and still be friends.
A real man needs to know how to fight and fight with his knuckles, a knife, a gun, a baseball bat, and a stick. That is how you survive and are able to protect those who cannot defend themselves. And you must have the courage to do it.
God Bless, General Satterfield.
As it should be. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Indeed, God Bless General Satterfield.
Top-notch article this morning, Gen. Satterfield. You are the best. Love the website.
“Mama,” I would say, “I don’t know why we were fighting. We’re friends.”
This says it all.
When boys fight, it’s over. That’s it. Nothing else to hold a grudge.
Long time read and find that this ‘granddaughter’ is probably the best. Of course, I’m biased … have 5 grandkids. But, if you want kids and you are young, then you might just want to read these too.
I agree, Nick, a best reading leadership blog and then, on occasion, we find something like this personal letter series to his granddaughter. I would have never thought of it. Now, I’m writing letters to my future children. I’m pregnant with my first child and hope to have several more. I’m a stay at home mom and do some on-line work to help with expenses. We are not rich, except in our love with my husband. A new family is starting and we look forward to being with each other every single day.
Liz, that is great news. Congratulations. 👶
Yep, congrats.
Yes, CONGRATULATIONS Liz. Best wishes to you and your husband. Remember, as Gen. Satterfield says, once you have kids, then everything is about the kids. That becomes the focus of the family.
Congratulations, Liz at Home. This is a noble cause you are following.
This series is truly compelling. I know that Gen. Satterfield has written two others books that are on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Brig.-Gen.-Doug-Satterfield/author/B09FTH9SY2
With this link, you can see his Author’s Page. Go there to see his most recent publications. You will not be disappointed in his works. Order his books and leave a comment here on Amazon.
Wow, another slam dunk and very funny too. Great lesson on rules for boys fighting.
Hey, RED, wonderful to see you back on Gen. Satterfield’s website.
Looking forward to your next article.
❤❤❤❤❤
Yep, I’m a huge huge fan of Sadako Red too. I love your articles. Please publish another one soon.
Excellent. My favorite book!
“55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here) – https://www.amazon.com/55-Rules-Good-Life-Responsibility/dp/1737915529/
Smile HAL, ha ha ha ha ha ……. ha ha …. I couldn’t resist. Hang in there folks. Keep reading Gen. Satterfield and his books and this blog.