[November 15, 2022] Make friends with people who want the best for you. Like everyone, I had friends who wanted the best for me and friends who didn’t. And there were friends who had noble goals and those who did not and were on a downward spiral in their lives. The best advice I can give is remove those toxic people from your life; you will be better for it.
For those friends who are aiming downward (and you do have a personal goal of achieving something noble), they are not generally happy about it. They try to talk down your accomplishments with one of their own supposedly or actual experiences or put down what you are doing. Maybe they will offer you a cigarette if you’re trying to quit or give you a drink if you’re trying to stop being so dependent upon excessive alcohol consumption. Or, maybe, they are just cynical and bitter and tend towards the no good in life.
Sometimes those aiming downward are not just friends but family members too. And, no surprise here, sometimes it’s even you. But we all have a moral responsibility to care for ourselves. We have an ethical responsibility to surround ourselves with people who have the courage, faith, and wisdom to wish us well when we do something good and stop us when we are doing something destructive.
If your friends are not like that, then they are not your friends. Maintaining your friendships with them might not even be in their interests. Be careful who you share good news with. And, be careful with who you share bad news with. A good friend is someone you can share good news with, and they are genuinely happy for you. And they are not envious and think about why that good thing did not happen to them. Or think maybe you didn’t deserve it.
Dr. Jordan Peterson says what we want for our children is the best for the best in them. That’s precisely what you want. And that’s what you want from people that you surround yourself with. Those people will hold you to a high standard of behavior if that’s the case. And that is hard, but that is what makes you better. Whenever you degenerate in any of the multiple ways that we humans can degenerate, they will jar you back to the right path and tell you to straighten up and see right.
They tell you that you are less than you could be. And, there is honest judgment in this, and it’s harsh. But with friends, it’s the same thing. You want friends. They are true friends who, when something good happens to you, that’s good for you, they are happy about it. They are not bitter and resentful or saying terrible things about you behind your back, telling you how they did something better and trying to drag you down. That’s not at all helpful for you or them.
Take a look at the people around you and if they are not on the side of what’s good for you, then walk away. You must walk away because that’s also best for them too. If you put up with that, you’re enabling them. You are telling them it’s okay to mistreat you in a harmful way and everyone else. That is not okay. Sometimes you can help someone who is aiming down by just walking away.
Only make friends with people who want the best for you. And that is brutal. But it’s the right strategy for life.
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Please read my books:
If you don’t remove them from your life, they will remove you from the responsibility you need to succeed.
This decision to remove toxic people from your life requires guts, determination, grit, and courage. We fear eliminating anyone from our sphere of influence. It is so difficult, nearly no one can do it, at least without considerable guilt and angst.
The “general” has done it again. Great article. Thank you. Lesson – remove toxic people from your life. You and they will be better for it.
Yep, and if we can’t figure that out, then they will surely drag us down with them. And there will be others who just stand there and watch us fall. Don’t let that happen.
Gen. Satterfield, I always miss your great articles and have made many self-improvements because of your insights and encouragement. Please continue what you are doing.
Another article from Gen. Satterfield that makes me situp and take notice. This is the exact kind of advice we all need to improve upon ourselves, “not because we are not as good as others but because we can be better than who we were yesterday.” Gen. S. is telling us to buck up and not to worry about how we stack up against others but how we can be better ourselves in a touch, tragic world. And that by doing so, we can transcend the inevitable tragedy of life.
Well said, Maureen. Exactly what I was thinking.
Great insights with this article, Gen. Satterfield. More like it are welcome.
Take a look at the people around you and if they are not on the side of what’s good for you, then walk away. Couldn’t say it better myself.
Great quote. 😎 Gen. Satterfield is DA MAN!
Gen. Satterfield wrote, “Dr. Jordan Peterson says that what we want for our children is the best for the best in them. That’s precisely what you want. And that’s what you want from people that you surround yourself with. Those people will hold you to a high standard of behavior if that’s the case. And that is hard, but that is what makes you better. Whenever you degenerate in any of the multiple ways that we humans can degenerate, they will jar you back to the right path and tell you to straighten up and see right.” Well said.
Hi Gen. Satterfield, I enjoyed today’s article. Just another strike for making our selves better people. I like the idea that we have a moral obligation to cut lose those who are not good for us. ✔
Nick, pow got it. We should also appreciate the fact that Gen. Satterfield is heavily influenced by Dr. Jordan Peterson and Gen. S. is very open about that influence. Keep up the great work you are doing for us Gen. S. and we remain loyal to you and your website. i hope you continue writing every day.
Right, do what is honorable and moral. You can’t go wrong.
Ha Ha Ha… right Janna. And like you said, get a copy of Gen. Satterfield’s latest book “55 Rules for a Good Life.”
Excellent thinking about toxic people and what to do about it. More importantly, Gen. Satterfield is telling us to let go of those who are not good for us. We cannot save them, so don’t enable them to do more harm to others. But let them know why you are cutting the friendship ties, do so politely.
Ouch had to change my name. Appears that numbers are no longer allowed in your screen name.
Really enjoyed this article. I wish I had this advice when I was a teenager.
Gen. Satterfield shows they way, get his books now:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737915529/
Link to Amazon for “55 Rules for a Good Life.” Best book ever on leadership.
Yep, got his book and will soon leave a review. If you haven’t left a review on Amazon, please do so.
—— and don’t forget his book from last year that remains a bestseller. “Our Longest Year in Iraq” you can’t beat it for a look on the inside of what war is like for army engineers. Get your copy today. I’m not hawking his book, just telling the truth.
Hi General Satterfield, we’re sorry to hear about your parents’ passing and we wish to extend our condolences again. Your trip to Texas to honor them shows your love for them and your family. We also understand that is why you took some time off … to be with them. Thank you and welcome back.
Finally, the real Gen. Satterfield is back in the saddle. Welcome home Gen. S. We missed you.
Yeah, and I’m pretty happy about it. too.
💖💖💖💖💖