[March 24, 2023] My wife Nancy would laugh aloud if she knew I wrote today’s article on advice for newlyweds. Sometimes she thinks that I’m a dunderhead when it comes to relationships, and, yes, compared to her, perhaps I am. But I have some advice for those newly married couples and I can explain why.
- Don’t stop dating each other. When you are dating, you are on your best behavior. At least you should be in so far as you can show off your best behavior. Hopefully, there is something attractive enough about you that when you are on your best behavior, you’re tolerable enough for someone else who might dare fall in love with you.
- When you are married, don’t think that you can now become complacent. You should not think that now that you’ve done all the hard work already, you can now settle down. That is a dismal view to settle down. Better that you strive up.
The closest people get to beauty and romance in their life is when they’re dating. That is why romance movies and novels are so attractive because they show people who are peacocking around at their best, trying to attract each other. There is something beautiful about that, and there’s something romantic about it, and it’s easy to think that once you’ve captured someone, you can now settle down into complacency.
- Don’t fall prey to complacency. You want to determine how to maintain that commitment to beauty and romance in your life and become an expert at it and how you have someone to practice that with and you can get good at it. And that is miraculous because if you pay careful attention to romance, you remember who you married.
- Fall in love with your spouse’s hidden best. And they will fall in love with your hidden best, and maybe you are allowing the best parts of you to shine forth so that the other person can see it. If you are careless, irresponsible, and do not tell the truth, that will not come forth for you to see.
- Remember who you are with. Now that is an absolute miracle that you got the person you wanted. And if you are careless, you will forget about that person, and they will forget it too, and then you settle into this dry, humdrum settling down boredom that allows you to drift. It can make you cynical and less than you can be.
It is tough to prioritize romance under the conditions of the family, job, and other demanding parts of your life. This makes you tired of all those responsibilities, and maybe your love for your partner is still there, but the romance is gone. Even your kids will benefit from the romance of your relationship more than anything else.
- Work hard to maintain the romance in your relationship. That’s rule number 1.
————–
Please read my books:
if you “win” an argument with your wife, then you lose
First thing I thought was ‘wow’ and that old warrior nailed a piece of many advice. Second thing I thought was … he’s right. Maybe Gen. Satterfield could write a book on manly advice.
At least we have some real simple, real like advice instead of the cheesy stuff we get often from the “experts”on marriage. Gen. Satterfield is giving us living advice, so take it and practice it. Remember to tell the truth and fulfill your responsibilities. That is the real way to a great, long lasting marriage.
Great advice.
Yep, that is why I’m such a huge fan of Gen. Satterfield.
Be flexible about your wedding plans
Let yourself relax and enjoy your wedding day
Be your own authentic self and let your partner be their true self
Be honest
Be willing to compromise
Don’t ask for marriage advice from someone who dislikes your partner
Be understanding and show compassion
Don’t use threats of divorce as a way to get what you want
Make time for activities as a couple
Don’t focus on past regrets
Show (and tell) your partner that you love them
Nice list, thanks Maureen. Always great to have a starting point. Plus those listed by Gen. S. make for a great combination.
Great list and thanks to Gen. Satterfield for taking on this topic.
Generally, the first couple years of marriage are the hardest for most couples. Don’t assume because you are deeply in love your problems will just go away. Research suggests that couples who think their marriage will remain as happy as it was right after they wed are less happy in the long run.
More than that, I think!
25 Best Pieces of Marriage Advice for Newlyweds
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/10-important-marriage-tips-for-newlyweds/
This is the kind of article I see a lot regarding newlyweds.
I find that most advice to married couples is grossly inadequate and that we find here in Gen. Satterfield’s blog to be more practical and experienced-based. That is exactly how it is done instead of repeating talking points from the new radical leftists who see everything thru the lens of “white patriarchy” and based upon “power.” This is, IMHO, the reason so many are not getting married today. It’s mostly part of why women are being lied to about their life’s priorities.
Rowen, yes, you nailed it. Most of the marriage advice I read is just rehashed old garbage from the 1940s. How about something new along the lines that Gen. Satterfield thinks on good, proper, growth-oriented relationships? Now, that might work better. ❤
Bless General Satterfield for his ability to sort out advice for newly married couples.
👍👍👍👍👍 Thank you Ayn Jalut, I’m sure Gen. S. appreciates your support as well.
Nice!
Yes! And perhaps Gen. Satterfield might consider writing a book on marriage. Why get married? How to keep the marriage together. The benefits of marriage and why it is a far superior form of human interaction than any other. And that humans are best found in dyad marriage to a partner of the opposite sex. And how much children add to the quality of the marriage.
Good point Emma, but I’m not sure that Gen. Satterfield is the right guy to write on marriage. Now, don’t get me wrong, he does have a lot to say and his latest book “55 Rules for a Good Life” prove it, but a marriage book? I’m not so sure. Let’s see what he has to say about it.
Right, not that Gen. S. does not write much in detail about marriage.
Yes, well said and the reason I think he will not write a book on it. Maybe his wife can write the book.