Advice to Men Seeking Marriage

By | February 21, 2023

[February 21, 2023]   Here is an indisputable fact; marriage and children will be the best thing in a man’s life.  This is true across all cultures and as far back as we can ascertain from ancient writings.  From that fact, there is advice we can give to men seeking marriage that will be beneficial for all; the spouse, kids, family and friends, job, and community.

Being attracted to one another person is essential to the good life.  And while there is some mysteriousness in it, we know that physical attractiveness is both biological and culturally influenced.  Biological factors are deeply embedded (e.g., scent, body symmetry, fertility) and very much a part of the appeal.  Some will argue that this part of a marital relationship is a big piece of success with a potential spouse.

Trust.  No marriage is successful without trust.  You have to tell each other the truth.  And telling the truth is no simple thing.  Many things about us are not ideal, perhaps shameful and tragic.  These must be brought out into the open to deal with properly.  You will certainly not tell the truth about yourself to someone you can run away from easily.  When you reveal who you are, that other person needs the marital bond to stay.

The rule of the marriage bond goes something like this; I’m going to handcuff myself to you, and you’re going to handcuff yourself to me, and then we will tell each other the truth, and neither of us is going to get to run away.  Once we know the truth, we will live together in mutual torment, or we will try to deal with it and straighten ourselves out jointly, which will make us more powerful, more resilient, and wiser as we travel through life.

If you leave a backdoor open where you can leave the relationship anytime, you will use it.  The bond is there, often represented in the spiritual sense.  In Christian marriage, the bond is superordinate to the couple.  Carl Jung (founder of analytical psychology) believed that a bond in marriage was more than the people within the marriage.  In Christian marriage, the man is not the boss, and the woman is not the boss.  The boss is the mutual personality composed of the seeking of truth.  The ruler of your marriage is your vow.

We all have done immoral, unethical, tyrannical, embarrassing, and sometimes evil things.  You need someone to turn to, a marriage partner you can trust and go to and sort out a path forward using your thinking to get to a solution.  Your spouse will help you deal with those dragons, and you will help her when they come across a dragon in her life, and they will come at some point.

One of the things our culture gets wrong is that marriage is devalued.  This is a terrible idea.  Marriage is a third of your life.  And kids are another third of your life.  And approximately your life outside family and marriage is another third of your life.  To miss any of that is a massive mistake.  There are a few exceptions where some people believe that marriage and kids are the pinnacle of life for the vast majority.

For young men looking for a spouse, look for someone you can trust.  Look for a woman who is interested in having children and can be a good mother.  Look for someone with whom you can weave your life together to strengthen your joint life.  You are fortunate if you can manage it.


Please read my books:

  1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
  2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).
Author: Douglas R. Satterfield

Hello. I provide one article every day. My writings are influenced by great thinkers such as Friedrich Nietzsche, Karl Jung, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Jean Piaget, Erich Neumann, and Jordan Peterson, whose insight and brilliance have gotten millions worldwide to think about improving ourselves. Thank you for reading my blog.

19 thoughts on “Advice to Men Seeking Marriage

  1. anita

    Liberal women believe that they are to be slaves to a man in marriage and therefore do not want marriage. They have interpreted this wrong and are lied to consistently about it. They are not a slave to a man. Both the man and the woman are subordinate to the marriage vow itself. They are equal in marriage. Now it does take some negotiation to who does what and who works and who cleans and who cares most for the children. That is what mature people do.

    1. rjsmithers

      Right anita. Liberal women do not understand the concept of marriage and explains why they resist it. Then they hit the biological wall and suddenly realize they screwed up and now it is too late.

  2. Greg NH

    Men seeking marriage to a good Christian woman who wants children. Now that is something that is right.

  3. Army Captain

    Gen. Satterfield is not exactly “politically correct” here and I think it is refreshing for him to write some great advice for men. Yes, Gen. S. is a man, and a very successful one at that. His advice should be seriously considered. Oh, it is pretty much common sense anyway. Screw the PC crowd.

  4. Emma Archambeau

    If you are not seeking future marriage with a good woman, then you are not really a complete, mature man.

  5. Ron C.

    Do not leave a backdoor open to bail out of a marriage. While there are many so-called “secrets” to a successful marriage, this is the most important. Tell the truth and you cannot leave. Learn to tie yourself with your mate and never leave, even if you want to. Things will improve. Short of dangerous and bodily harmful physical abuse, you stay with your spouse and you will be better for it. However, learn to pick the right person for you.

    1. Jonnie the Bart

      Yep, and that is why we do not become sex partners to satisfy our immediate desire. Be careful choosers of who you are willing to have a relationship with.

    2. Bryan Z. Lee

      Ouch, “We all have done immoral, unethical, tyrannical, embarrassing, and sometimes evil things. “

      1. Janna Faulkner

        Gen. Satterfield is saying we are not perfect. And we should not expect our spouse or potential spouse to be perfect either. Learn that you must be the best (or better) than you can be, and that is very hard, requires energy, and focus. That is why the best marriages are between those who are most interested in their spouse’s loving relationship and not in their own. That is what Gen. S. means when he writes that the man and woman are subject to the superordinate marriage.

  6. Eye Cat

    “For young men looking for a spouse, look for someone you can trust. Look for a woman who is interested in having children and can be a good mother. Look for someone with whom you can weave your life together to strengthen your joint life. You are fortunate if you can manage it.”

    1. Rev. Michael Cain

      Yes Eye Cat, this is indeed the heart of Gen. Satterfield’s argument. If you want to see him in action in his latest book “55 Rules for a Good Life,” then you will read his view on the many rules for having the kind of life you want.
      RULE 54: Get married, be a couple, have children ……………………… 155

  7. Fred Weber

    Very good. Men seeking women who want marriage and children. Who would think that this is what we want? Gee! Imagine that.

      1. Boy Sue

        LGBTQJ-xyz folks will now hunt you down and destroy you for wrongthink, so be careful antman, they are so compassionate that they love to kill.

        1. Willie Strumburger

          Marriage is sacred for just this reason. It has been historically shown that it works. That is true across all cultures regardless of what the liberal, whacko, snowflakes want it to be. If you are in any kind of relationship other than monogamous with someone of the opposite sex, you will be guilty and ashamed and rightfully so.


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