Rule 61: Listen Intently to Your Enemies

[May 5, 2026]  Your enemies will tell you things about yourself that you do not know and that no one else will tell you.  Of course, some of those things might not be true.  But some of them will.  And if your enemies tell you something terrible about yourself that’s true; they immediately become your harshest critics and best friends.  So listen intently to your enemies.

Listen to them, and listen closely, because you will want to know if there’s something terrible about yourself, so that you can get it rectified before it ruins your life and your family’s life. Listen because what your enemies say to you can also detrimentally affect the course of the world.  

If you have very good enemies, they will show you the flaws in your character that you didn’t know were there.  And here is a strange way to look at your life: you should welcome their attacks on you.  The more vicious the attack, the more of your potential and hidden flaws might be revealed.  It is those attacks that will force you to contend with and test those terrible things and flaws in your personality.

No one else is going to tell you those things about yourself.  If you don’t know them, you’re not very smart.  Your good enemies are going to tell you, in a blunt way, why you’re such a fool, and then, with foresight, you can create solutions to overcome them.  Having enemies, however, doesn’t mean making enemies unnecessarily.  Avoid doing so.

To listen to your enemies is also ancient counsel.  Respect them.  Know them.  This is why counsel from the distant past is so powerful.  We see this in stories from our ancestors, who urge us to pay attention to and respect our enemies, or to “love” them for who they are and for what they can do for us.  For example, we see it in the New Testament of the Bible.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” – Matthew 5:43-44 (NIV)

In their attack on you, your enemies will help you recognize within yourself the things that must be addressed: weaknesses, susceptibility to temptation, narcissism, pride, envy, resentment, frustration, lack of faith, and the like. That will certainly be enough to keep you occupied. This struggle with your inadequacies foreshadows the human condition, in which an ever-present enemy pushes and pulls at us, making us stronger and better because of that very struggle.  

It is no surprise that this wisdom also tells us that a world with enemies is better.  No enemies.  No challenge.  No adversary.  No struggle.  The conclusion is that we are stronger and better because of those eternal adversaries.  Life is rough enough.  Without being pushed and pulled, we often cannot fathom the motivation and the power to push back, gaining the physical, mental, and spiritual strength needed to survive, endure, and prosper.

A world with enemies is a better world.  This is not easily understood.  People have been trying to understand it for thousands of years.  This is why it is a spiritual battle.  So listen intently to your enemies, for they have given you a fighting chance to become a better person.

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Please read my books:

1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).