The Acolyte Review: by The Critical Drinker

By | June 24, 2024

[June 24, 2024]  Unbelievably bad.  That is the observation made by film critics describing the Disney Star Wars spinoff, The Acolyte.  My favorite movie critic, The Critical Drinker, gives us both barrels in his takedown.  And the takedown is a piece of art in itself.  Interested?  Go and see the review for yourself.

In his latest video, The Acolyte Episode 3 – I’m Done And So Is Star Wars, he says this episode is “without a doubt one of the most devastatingly embarrassing spectacles I’ve ever witnessed on TV.”  This review was posted nine days ago (that would be yesterday for my readers) and already has over 3 Million views, a shockingly high number, plus an additional 32,211 comments, all supporting movie critic Scotsman Will Jordan.

“This episode is 40 minutes of relentless, unadulterated, unapologetic, unaware, cringe distilled down to its purest and most toxic form.  A show made by people who seem to despise not just Star Wars but the very concept of filmmaking and storytelling in general.  It’s quite literally anti-entertainment made by anti-geniuses.”

Anyone familiar with how the “woke” Hollywood types function today can predict that this review by The Critical Drinker will result in an attack on him.  They accuse him of “encouraging hatred and bigotry,” and not unexpectedly because that is the fallback position of those who do not argue to support their own views.

“The entertainment media is taking up defensive positions around The Acolyte, and they’re coming for anyone who doesn’t like it… which appears to be pretty much everyone outside of the entertainment media.” – Geeks & Gamers

I find that The Critical Drinker reviews reflect a new wave of film reviews, ones that are direct and viciously honest.  That is refreshing in a culture that sides with those who want to shade or eliminate the truth.  Why?  “They cannot stand the truth.”  Apologies to Jack Nicholson as USMC Colonel Jessep in “A Few Good Men.”

“We get to see strong female character and strong female antagonist when they are still little kids.  They live with their two moms in a coven of communist lesbian space witches that have chosen to isolate themselves from the rest of the Republic because the Galaxy doesn’t tolerate women like them.  Oh my goodness, I wonder what that could possibly be a reference to?”

When the Critical Drinker plays “The Power of Many” cut, I nearly fell out of my chair.  Nothing can beat listening to him overplaying the power of many chants by these communist lesbian space witches.

“When I saw this, I actually had to pause the playback, walk away, and really just let it sink in.  This [scene] that actually got made real functioning adults wrote, performed, edited, and scored this and at no point in the process did anyone raise their hands and say ‘I think this might be a bad idea, guys.’”

Today’s Disney producers are interested in replacing the Jedi with something more “modern.”  “YES … YES … YES” so say the strong female characters.

“You know, reviewing this episode is kind of an exercise in futility at this point because, really, what is the point anymore in complaining about nonsensical and contradictory writing, the horrendous cinematography, the wooden acting, and the terrible dialogue?  Those things are par for the course in The Acolyte.

A legacy of absolute failure destroys Star Wars once and for all.


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Author: Douglas R. Satterfield

Hello. I provide one article every day. My writings are influenced by great thinkers such as Friedrich Nietzsche, Karl Jung, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Jean Piaget, Erich Neumann, and Jordan Peterson, whose insight and brilliance have gotten millions worldwide to think about improving ourselves. Thank you for reading my blog.

21 thoughts on “The Acolyte Review: by The Critical Drinker

  1. Dieter

    Marvel, Spiderman, Thor, Ghost Busters, Snow White, and Star Wars, and so many more. Someone high up in Hollywood is buying up the rights to the characters and stories we grew up with, learned to love and associate ourselves with. Their purpose is to hijack those stories and characters and pollute their memory all out of recognition. Notice that they do this to established and loved characters. If they simply wanted to win hearts and minds they’d make feature length movies of woke personalities and see if those would gain a following.

    The interview of the showrunner and lead actress revealed their utter contempt for the movie canon and fan base.

    This is intentional sabotage.

  2. Mario

    Gen. Satterfield, this guy Critical Drinker is one smart dude and I do appreciate that he hammers the woke movies that we have today. I don’t even watch anything that is produced after 2020. I only see earlier movies and series before that with tv on demand.

  3. Nick Lighthouse

    “This episode is 40 minutes of relentless, unadulterated, unapologetic, unaware, cringe distilled down to its purest and most toxic form. A show made by people who seem to despise not just Star Wars but the very concept of filmmaking and storytelling in general. It’s quite literally anti-entertainment made by anti-geniuses.” – The Critical Drinker from this article by Gen. Satterfield.

  4. DocJeff

    Well, paint me stupid. But I’m not stupid enough to watch this dumpster fire.

    1. Eddie Gilliam

      You have to be careful watching movie or TV that try to change the original shows with moral values we hold true to to falsely. The true nothing but the truth will always stand up and out.

  5. Neat Man II

    A Star Wars fan reviews it for us and sums up most of our thinking.
    bruupimmyc12 June 2024
    “Complete garbage”
    I tried to give this series a chance but after 3 episodes, I’m done. It’s absolute hot garbage. I love Star Wars but Disney is ruining the franchise. The producer should never get another gig after this. What made anybody think people would want to watch this? Horrible acting, horrible plot that nobody will care about unless you like after school specials. So much material they could choose from and they choose to make a WB type TV show. This could be the breaking point for many Star Wars fans. I can’t believe they spent 180 million on this series that only a small percentage of fans will even finish. I would give it zero stars if I could.

  6. Eagle Eye

    The Acolyte Review How to KILL Star Wars
    The Acolyte review of Season 1 Episode 4, where Star Wars makes no sense, the characters swap motivation randomly and I’m pretty sure the reveal is a trap. This episode made it very obvious that the villain is Ezra, so obvious that you begin to feel like it’s a setup, but with the realisation that if it IS bait, the plot will make no sense at all. We had a Wookie promised to us for 2 weeks only for him to come back and do literally nothing. But now we do have a cure for the Sith, just make them walk a bit past some trees and they go good again. Doesn’t matter what they’ve done previously, apparently saying sorry means you wont face prison time. In case you haven’t realised, I hate this episode. While seemingly just a visit to a forest, it destroys the reason why anything has happened so far in this season. And the supposed mystery at this point is mystery box seemingly to hide plot holes. But what did you think of what you saw? Let me know your thoughts down below and as always, thanks for watching 🙂
    – by disparutoo

    1. Bryan Z. Lee

      The fact Kathleen Kennedy can’t be fired despite having flushed billions down the toilet is disgraceful.

      1. Stacey Borden

        She’s WOKE and TALENTLESS, there you go. Explained in a couple of words.

  7. Jonnie the Bart

    If there was an example how those in Hollywood can lose $200 million, The Acolyte is it.

  8. Gunther Williamson

    Rotten Tomatoes:
    85% Tomatometer
    13% Audience
    Says alot about the progressive/liberal mindhive of those in film. The audience – which are real people – concludes that The Acolyte SUCKS.

    1. Big Al

      Type in “review of the acolyte” into Google search engine and you will see the audience rating at 1.5. One being the minimum number. You’ve got to question the sanity of the other .5 because no one can like this series of Star Wars spinoff unless you are a sycophant of the latest wave of anti-male, anti-America, anti-whiteness, anti- well whatever, you know what I mean.

      1. Watson Bell

        Let it be known, that Google (which is ideologically aligned with them) is putting their collective finger on the scale for them and making The Acolyte look better than it normally would with a ZERO rating.

  9. Willie Strumburger

    You can hear the crack of the bat from here and The Critical Drinker hits a homerun with this review. The Acolyte – a supposedly Star Wars spinoff – is so bad, even the anti-white, liberal, lesbians who made it and starred in it are ashamed of themselves. And, on top of it all, my favorite, is that Disney + lost millions of dollars in this ideologically driven piece of drivel. No one in their right mind with that kind of money could do that badly so often that they could put out such a bunch of crap, well, looks like I’m wrong. Somebody can.

    1. Colleen Ramirez

      The Acolyte ….. Willie, what’s that. he he he he he

      1. Kerry

        Willie and Colleen, I do think this shows us the peak of wokeness because that is what it really is. Or should I say the peak is over and we are on the downhill side of common sense and decency, rejecting this mindless woke ideology “crap” (thanks Willie) and so folks will not watch The Acolyte and if they do will come off saying how awful it is.

    2. Pumpkin Spice

      When you look up TERRIBLE in the dictionary, The Acolyte will be there as an example.


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