[August 27, 2025] In all my school years, including work on a PhD that I did not finish, there are some critical skills that I did not learn. This was not about proper teaching methods or a failure of the school, teachers, and my parents, or a lack of technology, school conditions, or state money funding my education. I did not learn the skills necessary to survive in a complex, dangerous, and chaotic world.
I’ve always been one of those students who wanted to know ‘why’ I had to learn something. I would ask, “Why do I have to learn to read?” I honestly didn’t know, and I never got a satisfactory answer from my Elementary School teachers. They probably thought that I was just dumb and avoided doing the work through laziness or procrastination. Frankly, they were probably right. There was more to it, of course.
Here is a short list of skills that I did not learn in school. This includes college and advanced degrees. I’m sure many will not be surprised:
- Personality Matters: How we present ourselves makes a difference. If we have a bad attitude, talk nasty, curse, or scream, fail to complete assignments, act up in class, or skip class, we will be judged harshly. That’s just a fact. Plus, the impact of this treatment will follow us through life, and we might not even know it. Boys are more prone to act this way. Remember that people in our social circles remember our past and will ensure it follows us forever.
- Communication is Important: I did learn how to read and write, and that was good, even if I didn’t know why. I asked myself, “Why read?” And I had a simple answer, “Nobody cares because hunting, fishing, hiking, camping (sleeping overnight, starting a fire, etc.), and making meals, don’t require any reading.” Just learn how, and that’s it. Or so I thought. I also didn’t get the message about the importance of speaking clearly, with minimal accent, no cussing, logically, and in the proper tone.
- Your Legacy Helps You: No way should this matter at all, but we live in a world with people and people talk. Your legacy begins the moment you are born. “He was a good baby.” We might have no control, but it works if we learn to socially interact with others, especially adults, as a child. Adults should be pleased to be in your company. They will give you opportunities and teach you things that are necessary for a good life. Be a pain in the butt, and the adults will ignore you. This has long-lasting consequences because you will begin to fall behind both intellectually and socially when non-related adults are not in your circle. Your social network is your most important asset, and it takes time to build and maintain.
- How to Think is Better: This differs from learning what to think. I didn’t learn how to think. I didn’t learn the processes of social and scientific methods, or at least how to apply those principles to real life. Mostly, I drifted through school, never studying, doing only the minimum (despite my mom’s disappointment), never questioning the information fed to us, or problem-solving. What this meant was that my thinking ability was not coherent or ordered. I used a “spider” approach to learning, which I came up with on my own, only after many years of failure.
- Emotional Control is Necessary: Fortunately, I was not a hothead, and I thank my mom for that, but I was easily spun off into a state of confusion. If I were being forced to do something that had no clear value, then I would just shut down mentally and ignore anyone trying to tell me something potentially important. I was easily upset, and although I didn’t show it, being mad was worse for me than for others in my social circle. I also tended to play the passive-aggressive role, usually by just ignoring the other person.
- Creativity is Needed: This is ‘thinking out of the box’ that is developer after many long years of learning to think differently. I don’t believe people are born creative, although many psychologists will disagree. I am not a creative person, but I did learn to think outside the analytical framework (a difficult skill to acquire) and do well. In the military, thinking strategically requires creative thinking.
- Only through Deferred Gratification: One crucial difference in humans and other animals is that we can look into the future, make plans, and sacrifice for a valuable goal. This requires deferring gratification today for a greater gain tomorrow. I was mainly living in the present and being more like my dog than my family, who knew better. My religious training on Sundays and Wednesdays should have taught me more about why we sacrifice. Maybe they did, and I just missed the message.
- The Importance of Stories: We are an animal attached to learning how to be better. Call it wisdom, perhaps. Stories are the most effective way to teach us the wisdom that humans developed over the entirety of our existence. The Bible is one example because it is full of stories. We might not know what these stories mean, yet it is our responsibility to find out through others. I’m amazed at the value of these stories; sometimes we call them parables, fables, legends, etc., but it’s all the same. We can learn more from them than we might ever know.
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Excellent article. Thank you sir.
I hate to admit this, but I didn’t learn much in primary school either. But, as I read this blog post, I see that perhaps Gen Satterfield didn’t learn much in any school, primary or advanced college. Now, taht says something important not to be overlooked and not compared to contemporary schools (which have gone woke and only teach gender ideology). Woke is killing education in America. Oops, already killed it would be a better statement. And, yes, Dale, this is an excellent article but I do think that Gen Satterfield should have gone a step further and talked about the solution.
Emotional control. Too many lack that skill, for sure.
Discipline. Sir, was this one of the things you did not learn? Or did you learn it?
PS, good question and one that I considered for the list. For me anyway, “discipline” was a mixed bag. Although I did not study much, I almost never missed a class. Up through High School, my parents made sure I went to school everyday. That’s also why I didn’t have to study. The downside to that was, I was not skilled at studying, organization, and preparation skills. So, yes, perhaps I could add the latter. Thanks!
Great points. We all could do better in our “studying, organization, and prep skills.
Sir, we all appreciate you honesty here. Well done and made me start thinking about these same skills so that I can better prepare my children.
These skills are more important to us and our families than we can imagine. Gen. Satterfield nails it.
A quote by Gen. Doug Satterfield says alot about this idea of the importance of stories…
“ Imagine this: tell your friend a story you saw that was interesting. Imagine you collect a thousand interesting stories and condense them to a hundred very interesting ones. And then imagine you had a thousand years to gather those most interesting stories and come out with the best, most interesting, perfect story you could tell. That story is what a myth is, the most interesting story you can tell.”
“ Leadership Toolbox: Storytelling”
https://www.theleadermaker.com/leadership-toolbox-storytelling/
That’s about right. Now, I might add that it is our own responsibility to learn these things and they are best learned in the real world. The problem is that there are no formalized schools that teach these either. So, that means mentors are more necessary than perhaps we might believe. Get yourself a mentor or many mentors. I always avoided them, and I paid a price for that purposeful failure. See other articles by Gen. Satterfield on “mentors.”
JT, well said.
IMPRESSIVE LIST
As always by “the General.” What question is begging for an answer is how do we learn these necessary skills? We can always read the book “55 Rules for a Good Life” but I don’t know if it answers all the questions on these skills.
The best book out their on ancient wisdom.