[September 20, 2022] You need to have a vision for your life. Not some whimsical outlook on your life, but you need to seriously believe in what you want and be willing to make the sacrifices necessary. You have to be all in on it. You’re not okay the way you are!
Dr. Jordan Peterson speaks to this issue often. As a very atypical psychologist, he asks his clients, “What are you willing to be?” “What’s worth it going all in on?” The answer to that, he says, is to just ask yourself. The typical psychologist likes to pat people on the head and say, “You’re all right, the way you are.” Peterson says that one of the things he tells young people all the time is that this is all rubbish.
Not only are you not okay the way you are, but you also don’t think that anybody else is okay the way they are, either. You don’t think your children are okay the way they are. You love them, of course. But you don’t want them to stay three years old their entire life. You want them to expand and improve and become who they are.
Telling young people that they are okay the way they are is a terrible idea. They need to hear a harsh message, especially if they are desperate. Many young men and women are not in a good position in their life. They don’t have any goals. They’re drinking too much. They’re watching pornography all the time. They’ve got no aim, no structure in their life, and they are miserable. And that misery is twisting them into malevolence.
To come along in their lives and tell them, “Well, you’re okay just the way you are.” That’s the last thing they want to hear. The message should be, “Get your damn act together.” They need to be told that they have things to do and it will be difficult. Pick up the weight of your suffering, do so voluntarily, and walk uphill with it.
That gives you the meaning you need in life and stops you from degenerating in a dangerous manner. That actually makes things better.
Please read my new book, “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).