RULE 5: Find Someone to Help You Paddle

[June 22, 2025]  There is an old U.S. Navy saying that when you get a mission, ‘Find someone to help you paddle.’  There is a universal truth that tells us that you cannot change yourself without help.

Find someone who shares your interests and ask them to assist you. A spouse, friends, colleagues, and sometimes a stranger can guide you to the right destination.

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” – Stevie Wonder 

You need others to help you complete your tasks or fulfill your mission!  While this may seem unfashionable as an idea, we all know that going it alone does not work.  Old western movies show the “lone cowboy” who rides his faithful horse to the rescue, chases off the bad guys, saves the damsel in distress and returns the stolen stagecoach gold.  That’s not the way the world works.  Even the hero needs help.

Ask someone to do you a favor so that you can return it.  You may not be able to change the world, but you can make a significant impact.  You cannot do this alone, without people standing with you.

Asking someone for a favor is the beginning of building trust.  Nurture this trust by building a network of friends and acquaintances you can rely on. Humans learned long ago that we could do nothing of consequence without others.

“Doug, if you guys are in trouble, just call, and we will be there.”  This particular Infantry Battalion Commander was a man of his word.  We were all American Soldiers, and we protected our own.  If there were an attack on one of our reconnaissance convoys or patrols, we were to call him.  He would send his forces to get us out of a jam, no matter his current mission, no matter what.

These Soldiers would do anything in their power to save our butts, and that is the environment we were to appreciate.  What a great feeling to know others would help us no matter the circumstances; they had our backs. With others at our side, outstanding achievements can take place.

It may be the older man who empties the trash can or the senior vice president who gives you a chance to excel; we all play a role in the success of others.  Never forget them, no matter their job or status.  Do your best to help them as well.  Treat them with dignity and respect.  Judge them for their character.  You will gain much from those reciprocal relationships in proportion to the effort you also put into them.

Be part of the team.  Whether in the workplace, at home with your family, as a player on a sports team, or just having fun with friends, achieving the team’s goals requires working together cooperatively.  We call it teamwork, which means understanding your role, listening to what others say, and holding yourself accountable for your mistakes.

It’s incredible how easy it is to be a team player, but it does require commitment and staying power.  “Hey, coach, put us in the game. I want to play.”  Now, that is the right attitude.

Writers of the Bible, ancient philosophers and other thinkers of the past had it right about reality.  “Ask, and it shall be given to you, seek, and ye shall find, knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” If you are willing to be part of your community and have the courage to ask for what you need, you will get it.

If you are present and paying attention, and you are looking for opportunities, they will find you.  Opportunity knocks, but only if you are willing to approach the door and be a willing participant.  Social scientists long ago discovered that if you don’t try to accomplish anything, you will never succeed.  Free handouts don’t exist.

Undoubtedly, it requires foresight and conscious effort. Be willing to seek what you need.

Begin today. Imagine, if you will, what you would like your life to be like a few years from now.  Picture what you could have, reasonably, and what you could do to get there in your mind.  Then ask what the requirements are for it to be so.  Ask what the conditions of success are to see what is needed to succeed.

Do not hide in your room.  Nothing ever will be accomplished from your willful blindness.  Some folks are reluctant to look ahead to their future, and by failing to look ahead, they are less likely to succeed.  They have no way of measuring if they are on the right track because they don’t know their end goal.

Figure out what you would like to be.  Then aim for it carefully and single-mindedly.  And ask for help, and others will help you.  If you do this, you will succeed; that success may not be straightforward or immediate, but it will happen.

Find someone to help you paddle.

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Please read my books:

1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).