RULE 56: Follow the Path of Suffering

[October 1, 2025]  The journey to fulfillment in life is found through suffering.  Taking on all the responsibility you can means confronting everything that needs to be faced.  Doing so leads to the gradual improvement of your surroundings.  If we accept this as an unavoidable truth, then, facing the world and doing so nobly, there is no upper limit to what can be made good by doing so.   

When people accept more responsibility and face their suffering honestly and openly, their lives improve, and their lives get better, and those around them also benefit.  It is an ancient truth that the way to less suffering is through suffering itself.  We could make things worse by running away and avoiding the suffering.  The coward’s approach only leads to destruction, bringing unnecessary pain to everyone.  

Face it.  Suffering is a fundamental part of life.  We can’t avoid the suffering that all of us will inevitably face.  Focusing on this fact can make us fearful and cause us to want to recoil from it, but the path to a better life is not avoidance; it is to overcome the suffering.

Of course, this is the most famous Biblical story; Jesus being crucified on the cross.  He took upon Himself all the sins and suffering in the world and voluntarily sacrificed His life for us.  This is the fundamental Western perspective of the story, symbolizing what we all must face as we suffer and endure life’s hardships.  We have a choice: to accept our responsibilities willingly, or to run with the crowd and cowardly avoid them.  The crowd is not the right choice.

This Biblical idea, most familiar in the West, is to “pick up your suffering and bear it.”  We are taught by our parents and relatives to “try to be a good person,” or at least not to make things worse.  And we definitely can make things worse, much worse.  Even a quick look at history shows us the horrific things that people have done to each other.  We don’t want to become like that: a Hitler, Mussolini, Mao, Pol Pot, or a Stalin.

Do we have reason to be like these evil men?  Yes, we do, and there are many reasons to feel resentful, hate-filled, and horrified about our lives.  We know that we are going to die and that our death may not only be painful, but that our lives leading up to it might be filled with suffering and tragedies.  Much of it may also be unfair. 

So, yes, we do have reasons to feel resentment..

We might act out and see what happens. Ultimately, the outcome will mean that everything we dislike will become even worse. It is said that the idea of Hell as a bottomless pit suggests that there is always someone ready to make life harder for us and those around us. We must accept that this is life. This is suffering. And who wants to admit that?

The only solution is to face your suffering and do your best to alleviate it. But we overcome by pulling ourselves together. Become a person who stands up and helps others and yourself. Don’t be the one who falls apart when suffering or tragedy strikes, as that only makes things worse for everyone. Don’t whine in the corner or hide under your bed. Be someone others can rely upon when the going gets tough. That is better.  

Don’t be a victim. You might be one, but don’t act like one. Focus on improving yourself. Starting with small, incremental steps is a good way to begin. As you become more aware of the world, maybe you can help your family come together instead of being spiteful, neurotic, and infighting. Humble yourself, fix things little by little, first for yourself and then for your family. This shows wisdom, usefulness, and necessity.

The way to overcome life’s suffering is to strive to become a better person. That’s how you do it. That’s hard. It requires taking responsibility. And everything you do matters. You must pull yourself together to face life’s suffering. This is also the path to a meaningful life, the very definition of one.  

Civilization works because there are people willing to do the hard work to support themselves and their families. Many people face problems beyond our imagination. Yet, they still go to work and do things they don’t even like to earn a living and keep the lights on. So, don’t take for granted what you have.

This idea that we can reduce suffering by confronting it is an ancient idea, far older than even Christianity.  This is mankind’s oldest story.  Get yourself together.  Overcome your suffering and aim to become a hero.  Make the world’s suffering a little less.  That’s the way forward.  That’s life. That’s meaningful.

Follow the path of suffering.

NOTE: These ideas are not mine alone.  They are very ancient.  Dr. Jordan Peterson has done a great job of simplifying them for us.  All I’ve done is try to compact them into something here that is easy to read and understand.  Never forget: follow the path of suffering.

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Please read my books:

1. “55 Rules for a Good Life,” on Amazon (link here).
2. “Our Longest Year in Iraq,” on Amazon (link here).