[August 16, 2018] Entitlement is the enemy of success. We’ve all witnessed the destruction of motivation, unreasonable demands, and failure in entitled leaders. It amazes me that entitlement in leaders still exists. But the reason it does survive, of course, is that we encourage it.
I don’t buy into the idea that young folks today are more likely to demonstrate behaviors of entitlement because they were all given a trophy growing up. Yes, many are told they are special, morally superior, and deserving of special treatment. And while that may explain part of their narcissistic behavior studies suggest the real reason is that everyone encourages it.
“Research confirms that entitled employees have unjustified positive opinions about their talents and contributions, feel deserving of things they haven’t earned, and even see their supervisors as abusive. They’re also less satisfied with their jobs, more likely to underperform, pick fights and behave unethically.” – Tasha Eurich1, organizational psychologist
Why would we encourage it is the purview of psychologists and other experts on human behavior. However, what I do know is that getting rid of entitled behavior is both difficult and frustrating.
Remember this … leaders receive the behavior they reward and tolerate.
What can we do to put the brakes on leader entitlement? I know there are many parents of young children asking the same question about how they can prevent their child from throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store. Behaviors in both these cases are related.
Here are a few ways to discourage entitlement behavior in leaders:
- Learn to recognize this form of behavior.
- Set clear expectations, standards, and values.
- Stand up and never give in to such a person. It takes time to change them. Never give up.
- Act decisively when making decisions.
- Be prepared to punish this behavior but be careful.
- Always maintain a positive outward personality.
- Don’t let them get to you or see they are having any impact on your attitude or behavior.
I’ve written on this problem before and used the example of the citizens of the City of Detroit, Michigan (see links here and here). Leadership means tackling hard problems and this is one of those difficult things that must be fixed.
——————–
You are certainly on target with this blog post. I’ve personally, like many reading this, have direct, personal experience with leaders who considered themselves entitled. I was trapped in several jobs where I couldn’t afford to get out but I did anyway. It was the best decision I ever made.
You’ll enjoy this article on this very topic from AMMO GIRRLLL
https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2018/08/thoughts-from-the-ammo-line-234.php
The level of frustration is not to be overlooked. Narcissistic people can be really nasty. We actually encourage this type of behavior, unfortunately. No real difference in those who are entitled. I once had a student in a class I had in college tell the professor that being entitled was a good thing.
Exactly, well said, Gen. Satterfield.
Wow, I sure have run into people like this over my years working. However, I have found that trying to change them is impossible. If you work in a place with people like this, especially a boss, then get out when you have the chance. Making them change the way they act is not worth it. I hate to sound pessimistic but that is my opinion.
I’m inclined to agree with you. But if this is a family member, the dynamics have changed. We must do something about it and whatever we do must be the right thing, always.
I wish it was that easy.
Nice list of whys to discourage entitlement behavior. What is most important to address is the issue that the behavior is not easily changed. Of all things we do, having to deal with an entitled person is the most frustrating and complex. They didn’t get where they are by accident but by people supporting them.
In the old days, if one of our peers had an entitlement attitude (very rare), we would take him out for a “party” in his honor and beat the s*** out of him with the message to straighten up or expect more of the same. That is why it was so rare. Today, being a sissy is okay for most but not for me.
Yep, an old fashion ass whopping is sometimes a good thing.
https://www.theleadermaker.com/getting-an-ole-fashioned-ass-wuppin/
I laughed when I read your comment Dale but I do think you’re right on about it. We never tolerated this type of behavior. Today, anything does.
Yes, good and appropriate article. Thanks, Gen. Satterfield.
I have come to believe that our schools are the leaders in bringing up kids. This entitlement attitude starts with them and they convince the parents that we should kowtow to these kids and give them whatever they want. Perhaps this is due to the condition of the US and other Western nations and all the luxury time we have. Those who have it easy are prey for this attitude problem.
Good point.
Well said. Occasionally I see an entitled officer in the Army but that is not often. I think our system weeds most of them out. Thank goodness.
Good article today. Keep it up. I think that more should be written on this issue of entitlement. We see the “snowflakes” at college, the political elite, and store clerks with attitudes all the time telling us to shut up and that we owe them something. Life’s not fair. Tough it out people.
True, leadership is not an entitlement but many think it is. I don’t have a problem with my boss having his own parking space or annual golf club membership paid, etc. But the attitude that “I’m special and I deserve something from you because I’m me” just doesn’t cut it. Those people show they have poor character and cannot be trusted to do anything that doesn’t personally reward them. It’s me me me me ….
I’m with you on this, Shawn. Thanks.
I agree with you too.
😉
Nice! I think you nailed this one. Too many people with an entitlement attitude.
Good point here Tom. I run into far too many with this kind of attitude and it is difficult to work with them. Overcoming this is hard to do.
Yep, spot on!! 🙂
Hi Tom, I enjoyed your article the other day. Good to have you on board with those of us who make comments.